16 March 2009

How To Not Bake Cookies

Step 1: Spend an hour totally engrossed in (and grossed out by) Cake Wrecks.

Step 2: Finally haul your new-to-you toy out of the closet to finally mend those tank tops and pillow cases (which you've been using all along anyway), only to discover that you don't have an owner's manual. And getting one off Ebay will cost you $5 and 2 weeks. Sewing machines take skillz, people.

Step 3: Call your mom and whine about doctors, feet, and shoes for an hour. Receive picture from mom of homemade tortilla chips to accompany homemade tortilla soup and wish you were there. Start sorting through your own recipes lying on the top of the microwave out of jealousy.

Step 4: Review your grocery list (parchment paper? check. bananas? check. flour? oh no!) and suddenly remember that you were planning on bringing cookies to your friend's St. Patrick's Day party. Realize you do not have green dye, scheme up ways to create green dye from vegetables currently in refrigerator, and soon thereafter trash the whole green dye idea. Feel relieved that you don't have to use green dye because you are highly uncomfortable with the idea of food dye in the first place. Who ever thought up neon green mashed potatoes?

Step 5: Reminisce about the cookies you made on Friday and start searching through cupboards to check on ingredients. AHA!

Homemade Oreos
from Smitten Kitchen

1 1/4 c. flour
1/2 c. Dutch cocoa
1 tsp. soda
1/4 tsp. powder
1/4 tsp. salt
1 c. sugar (can be decreased to 1/2 c., which I would recommend)
1/2 c. + 2 Tb. unsalted butter, room temp.
1 egg

1/4 c. unsalted butter, room temp.
1/4 c. shortening
2 c. powdered sugar
2 tsp. vanilla

1. Stir together flour, cocoa, soda, powder, salt, and sugar.
2. Add butter and mix thoroughly, then add egg and mix until dough comes together.
3. Spoon small teaspoons of dough onto parchment-lined or lightly greased cookie sheet and flatten slightly with the heel of your hand or the bottom of a cup.

4. Bake at 375* for 7-9 minutes. Watch them because cookies this small can burn quickly. Stand back and admire the neat little rows of chocolate goodness.
5. For filling, blend butter and shortening, then add powdered sugar and mix until crumbly. Add vanilla and mix until smooth.
6. I transfer my filling to a large ziploc bag and cut the corner off as a makeshift piping bag. Make that my usual piping bag. Pipe about a tablespoon of filling into the middle of a cookie and top with another cookie. Press together gently until filling reaches the edges. Pinkie lift optional.
7. Store between layers of parchment or wax paper in an airtight container. If there is anything to store...


Deb said...

Ah Marie....I miss you too...sniff :) Those oreos look, dare I say, FABULOUS! Good thing Dad's not there, none would be left......... :)

NWTrucker said...

I do have one question. In the cookie recipe, you mention 1/4 tsp powder. Just what kind of powder is this? Cement powder? Soap powder? Talcum powder? Baby powder?

Ri said...

Verrry funny Uncle D. Baking powder!

average joe said...

pinkie lift optional, hehe haha lol!
I thought that was only used for drinking tea in England, or for that frufru coffee,

Ri, i think those cookies are really bad for you, out of concern for your health and the health of anyone who might come into contact with them,
I am offering up my services to dispose of them in a proper and safe manner, risking only my health, (and the health of mabey 1 or 2 volunteers to assist me in this hazardous endeavor).
if you should attempt such a risky baking maneuver in the future, it is recommended that you have at least 2 "safety assistance" personnel there in case the temptation to sample, taste or gorge becomes too great, I am willing to put at risk my health and safety for your benefit, Im sure the same would be true for Casey, Nate, Jerry and your dad as well.
you can mail the cookies in question to any or all of the a fore mentioned volunteers with no charge to you, thanks for your time in considering this serious matter.


Ri said...

Thanks to Joe, my computer screen now has little specks of peppermint tea all over it.

average joe said...