What In The World Am I Eating?

My co-worker Angee recently introduced me to the joy of easy-lunch-making that is known as the snack pack. Not just any snack pack. A baked chips snack pack. My eyes eagerly sought out this remedy to all my lunch-making woes on the next trip to Winco. Aha! 20 neat little bags of baked Doritos, baked Cheetos, baked Ruffles, and pretzels. I know, pretzels are already baked to begin with, so they can't claim the fame that goes along with being labeled as a food that is a healthier version of its previous self. I digress. Notice that the bags say "naturally baked". What does that mean? Is there an unnatural way to bake something? Perhaps by leaving it out in the sun until it dries up and shrivels? Oh wait... that's how they used to do it...

I've never been a real huge Cheetos fan, mainly because they are messy and the cheese taste is overwhelming. I thought that the baked version might be better, lighter, you know... recognizable as actual food. I was wrong. That "cheese" on the Cheetos? The atomic orange? Yeah. It does supposedly contain cheddar cheese, according to the ingredient list, but it is closely followed by its friends maltodextrin, disodium phosphate, monosodium glutamate, lactic acid, citric acid, and "artificial flavorings". I've always wanted to know how an artificial flavoring is flavored. And which artificial substance tastes like cheese, if it's not in fact cheese?

The baked Ruffles? Definitely good. They taste like Pringles.